What do I use the internet for?

This is a post for my mass communication class so I guess it is easy to assume that I use the computer for school.

I also use the computer to communicate with people, such as my mom and friends. I know it is not like a letter or a phone call but it is quite convenient to send someone an email or type a comment on a facebook status when in a hurry.

I play games on the computer as an escape from reality. Yes it may sound simple minded but I need an escape from the everyday grind that seems to span off into a panic attack every now and then.

Google is a great way to discover things for me. My children may ask me a question and the answer is only a few key strokes away. My children seem to believe I am the smarterst person in the world and that my fellow bloggers and readers is priceless.

These are just a few things I use the internet for but the most used I would say.

Happy Reading,
Catherine

Boomer

My Boomer is getting over a horrible infection. Everyone says go to the low cost spay and neuter clinic. Well by the end of this ordeal it will have cost over 500.00 and that is because of the kindness of the vet we found.

Boomer is our 7 month old yellow lab. He is quite the gentlemen. I never knew I could love a big ole dog like I do him but he sure is special. I am looking into training him for dock diving. I think that will be a fun thing for us to do as a family.

He is obedience trainging and if there were just a few things we could break him of he would be just perfect.

I am so glad he is healing and recovering from that nasty infection. Stay away from the low cost places. They just run your animals in and out so fast. They don't care about the sterilty.

Peace! Catherine

OMG

That is right I said it. OMG

I am numb and do not know what to do. I am on the verge of another breakdown.
Yesterday my family came home from camping and i was cleaning up. I was vaccuuming and didn't see my husbands shoe. The vaccuum sucked up a shoe lace and I couldn't get the thing turned off. You know how it is.... trying to fumble around to get the shoe and turn of the vaccuum and your husband is in the background screaming at you.

Well he came over and took the vacuum out of my hands turned it off wrapped up the cord and moved it across the room and began to scold me as if I were 3. I haven't mentioned that my 9 and 10 year old and one of their friends were in the living room with me.

Now hummiliated I go outside, the friend goes home, she tells her mom, who is a friend and texts me what the heck is going on. He yells at me more outside for things he thinks I should have done while they were gone.

By now feeling like an impish child my daughter and I go to the grocery store. When we are leaving she asks me, " mom why don't you just leave dad?" OMG that is right she sure did. I asked her why and she said because he is always yelling at you and not being nice. "Why does he do that?" she asked.

I explained to her that I wasn't really sure but I didn't think it was ok either. I then asked her if she wanted us to live apart? She didn't think that was such a great idea either.

OMG what am I suppose to do with that?

School's out for the Summer!

It is bitter sweet. I am excited about all the fun things we are going to get to do this summer but the noise that has already taken over my house since 12:12 today is rediculous.

I love my kids they are so funny but they are loud. Well it has started.

My AC in my car is out. I have to get that fixed tomorrow or I am gonna die in this Texas heat. I need to get one of those car windshield things to help the car stay cooler. But what is cooler? 580 degrees instead of 600? Oh well. I wouln't call anywhere else home. Texas that is. I could live in alot of other places besides here.

Let's see what the new day holds tomorrow.

Well it seems to me....

That all I have to do is ... and whatever I want is done.
I guess that is why he never does anything for me because I always
seem to do it for myself. Well I am calling him on the phone right now and telling him that I am done taking care of myself and that I need him to do what I tell him to do for me when I tell him to do it.

Do you think that is gonna work? He will get around to it later he will say. Well in my time that is always way to long. I have to do it myself.

Hang on I am calling...

So it worked... He said ok...Call the mechanic and let's get your car fixed.
OMG I am so excited.

I will let you know when we can afford to get it fixed now. I just got off the phone with the mechanic and the parts store.

I need to go lay down.

C

Am I just paranoid?

First of all let me start by saying I have been with out my hormones for atleast a week.

Now let me say my husband was on facebook and accepted these hot women and one I think was his high school girl friend. I don't measure up. I am feeling a little insecure right now. He had to go the front door because we heard something and before he would he had to sign out of fb. I guess he was afraid of what I would see. OMG

I have been feeling really weird lately and I don't know what to do.

A Mother's Nightmare

As a teenager I began to have seizures and no one knew what was wrong with me. So the Dr.s of the small town in which I lived put me on anti convulsant meds and hoped I would be ok. I then moved to a bigger town and my symptoms worsened. I went to a bigger hospital and under went a few tests. The Dr.s said I had a Venous Angioma wich was just like a mole. It would never cause me any trouble. Let's not forget by this time in my life I was having several seizures a day and there was a blob on an MRI that was not supposed to be there.

Well long story short, 13 years and dozens of Dr.s including the Mayo Clinic, I had brain surgery to remove an AVM from my brain. I have been seizure free for almost 9 years and live a very active life.

I have 2 children and a wonderful husband of whom all were there during the time of my surgery and my children I was told I would never have.

My daughter is now going through the same thing I went through. All though she is very young and is unaware of the turmoil I am in she is now being sent through the same horendous paces I remember so clearly.

She is now 10 and just yesterday she had her 3rd MRI to watch what she has been diagnosed with, a Pineal Cyst. These will never cause any trouble the dr.s have assured me. Although, she is now having migraines, difficulty reading and in math, she is no longer articulate with her speech and her moods are well there is no better word but premenstrual.

This "Cyst" is also on the 3rd ventricle of her brain where the fluid drains. The Dr.s told me that if the cyst gets clogged or lodged it will cause an emergency and have to be removed. Why wait? Why when you know it is there and it is obviously causing a problem, and there is a likely hood that it can cause a problem, why not be preventative?

Is our medical field all about being on the defensive that they have forgotten about the patient and their well being. What about the hours we may go before we see there is a problem and the unrepairable damage that may be caused?

I never wished this path on anyone. My lord in heaven why oh why does it have to be my baby girl??? I thank you that my baby boy is safe and healthy. Please let my baby girl rise above this. Please let this malformation disapear.

I am lost. A lost sheep. My faith is starting to fade when I know I need it the most. I wonder if I have been forgoten. So much tragedy in a very short life. I don't want my children to be subjected to this. To fear. The unjustifiable ignorance. I want them to run and play in the yard. Blow bubbles and giggle about boys or girls. I want them to be safe and happy. I also want them to know a little pain and suffering so that it doesn't blow them away when it happens. I am realistic. I want them to know it from the outside. I want to teach them. Isn't that why I had the life, so that I may rear my young to be what I have learned?

My nightmare is before me. I must advocate and will not stop until we receive answers we can live with. Until that day I will not stop. Dear Lord please push me to not stop.

Always Kiss Me Goodnight.....

I remember a time...doesn't seem that long ago but I guess it probably is in the scheme of marriages, when every night before bed and every morning before he went to work he kissed me. Not so much anymore. Does my breath smell like a cow died or something. I mean what if something happened and we were never able to say I love you anymore.

I know what you are thinking why can't you do it. Well I could if I wanted to get up at 5am but I don't. I do give him a little nuzzle when I go to bed but he goes earlier than me. So no kiss then either.

We are in a big rut. I thought last year we were headed for the big D and we made it past that. Now, still in counseling, we are seriously week to week good and not so good but not divorce either. Ugh. WTH do I have to do to make this man happy.

I am a full time student I work and bring home the bacon. I try to keep the house. Yeah I am on the comoputer or doing home work when he gets home. I am gone all day to. He says he doesn't want to work when he gets home from work. And I do???? But cook and clean and take care of the kids. Try to do something to let the tension of the day reside and he doesn't understand that.

He sits in front on the TV and that is ok because he is a caveman but I am a woman in the 50's. ugh!

I just want a kiss before bed and before he leaves. Is that really to much to ask?